Freak Of Nature Club

I attended a babyshower yesterday for our friend Almay. It was a bit of a surprise shower, as she did not suspect a single thing. It was a proud thing when we walked in and everyone called out "Surprise!" - I was terrified though that she would go into labour immediately. I had to sneak her off to the shops so that her hubby could sort out the house and her other friends could arrive and set up for the cake and tea we had arranged. It was a success - she got lovely presents from everyone.

It was however a deeply disturbing time for me. I had nothing, besides the fact that I happened to be female, in common with these other women who were there. I sat there, and I could feel my eyebrows climb and climb higher and higher into my hairline. They occupy a completely and utterly different world to me. To anyone, really. It was surreal, to say the least. I found myself listening to them talking about nursing, breast feeding, attending ante natal classes. And in the end, it totally just became white noise. I did turn to Almay at one stage and said: "All I can hear is blah blah blah", and they all laughed. I was the only one there not pregnant, not hormonal or already had some kids - NOT counting Sparrow of course. I ate a few scones, took some ibuprufen to stave off an onrushing headache and listened to "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round". And naturally, the age old question came up: "So, Liz, are you going to have kids?" I am so tired of the question and again demured, without losing my patience, too much, not wanting to point out that the question was boring, old hat...and I can go on, but then I will just sound even more angry and bitter than I really feel. So I got bitchy.

I did point out that we are planning a few holidays over to Paris, Rome and defintely a trip to Peru to hike the Inca Trail. Also mentioned the new movies coming out which would be fantastic to go and watch. And a few daytrips we are planning to take over to Whitstable and down to the countryside to the Chilli Festival. All of which we can do without much trouble or hassle, as we don't have kids or pregnant bellies in tow. Silence fell and I could feel the annoyance and resentment. And I felt better. The one woman did turn and say, sotto voice: "Oh, I suppose if the hormones have not kicked in by now, they probably never will."

And I had to bite the inside of my cheeks not to burst out laughing as she sounded so resentful and bitter.

So, join the Freak of Nature Club (or the Footloose and Fancy Free Club). I'm the founding member.