Rock on!

Wow, it has taken a few days to recover from the Songbirds evening at the Bedford on Monday.

*G*

It was fantastic, as usual. The Thelma and Louise of music (Niki and Been) did a stonking opening set at the Globe Theatre - yet another secret room at the Bedford. Those ladies should run Battle of the Bands competitions on tv - honestly. With their noses for sniffing out talent and for cultivating and encouraging it in growing, they should bottle and sell themselves.

Or not. Because if they do, we will be without these showcases of new talent.

I am sorry to say that at this point in time, I do not recall all of the fantastic artists performing and will remedy that by emailing Niki and adding them in, but in the meantime these are the ones I remember - and I was on lemonade all night long, Officer!

Jamie Ambrose - the inimitable wordweaver performed two songs which she had written and they were stonking. Her first live performance to a large audience in 20 years and even if the first song's lyrics got away from her for a few seconds, she was charming and had everyone in the palm of her hand with her inimitable self-deprecating way. I think she got the biggest round of applause of that whole night. We love you, Ms Ambrose!!!!!

Young Roberta was up next with her wistful sounds - she is a Tori Amos/Kate Bush mix and as pretty as a doll. She had a friend with her who accompanied her on the cello and it provided a pleasant counterpoint to her ethereal voice.

Next I remember Susy Thomas who insisted on explaining to people that she was not the comedy act for the evening, she was there to sing. Her first two songs she fluffed the start of, just to prove to Jamie that these things happen and if you are gracious about it, you win the audience over - snaps finger - like that. Her performance was strong and she played three songs masterfully - her new album is out and me, the fangirl that I am, ran after her after the main break and got her to sign my CD. Neh neh neh!

After the main break, Rietta Austin and her nine man band came onstage - three guitarists, one drummer, one keyboard player, three backup singers and the gorgeous Rietta herself. You know, apparently one of the chaps from INXS was quoted as saying "Rietta is music". I strongly and utterly deny and defy that. She is a force of nature. This woman has the most amazing voice and stage presence - she rivalled Niki - and hell, that says a lot. The very second she had her boys and girls start up their first song, the entire vibe in the room changed. She was sex on legs, prowling, singing, flirting, dancing - it was amazing to watch. A Kiwi, and quite well known in NZ, she is no doubt going to make it BIG here in the UK. I hope so - her album is out in around six weeks. And it is one of those albums, I think, which you have to LISTEN TO REALLY LOUDLY because any other volume just would not do.

As I said earlier, this review is not as good as it could be, as I do not recall the other people's names who had performed, so I will get the details from Niki and do the review properly. I do not want to call them "The tiny lady with the big voice wearing the red dress who sang the slightly country and western music songs that made you want to hug your nearest and dearest" or "The pretty English girl who performed right at the end of the evening who has a voice like smoke" - it just would not wash - especially with Niki.

I promise to do the rest, hopefully, by the end of the week.

Storms

Wow. I can't remember the last time I saw and heard a storm like the one we had this afternoon.

Growing up in SA's East Rand, where the days were incredibly hot and dry, until around four or five in the afternoon when these huge thunderclouds would drift across, which signalled yet another violent thunder storm, before soaking th earth in rich sharp bursts, then the clouds would disappear. These storms were amazing to watch - standing out in the back yard, feeling the sheer force of nature whipping around you, much to my mother's horror. It was incredibly powerful stuff.

Pretty much like today, actually, except for the blazingly hot skies. It has been bizarre - three separate storms, the one more powerful and noisy than the other, to the extent where we could hear the little girl next door burst out in tears as a thunderclap so loud slapped itself seemingly down, outside in the back garden. It shook the houses around us, deafening us - poor Sparrow thought it was Odin coming for his bone.

Things have quietened down, for now. Just a steady long soft drizzle outside. Home made potato and leek soup with cripsy fresh breadrolls fed us whilst the thunder and lightening broiled. We wished for even colder weather, an excuse for rich stews, loads of candles and the crisp morning air so cold it hurt to breathe it.

We are definitely Autumn and Winter children.

Chopsaki! Hazaaaah!

I love and adore naff karate movies - as FG has his fixation with REALLY bad horor and zombie movies, I enjoy kung fu/karate and other dubious chopsaki movies. And therefore, I am a big fan of Chuck Norris. Seriously. Such a big fan that I felt obliged to post these trueisms when it got emailed to me today.

Chuck Norris is a god

1. Wilt Chamberlin claims to of slept with over 20,000 women in hislifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

2.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

3.As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tuckedaway in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birthto the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team inprofessional football history.

4.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

5.A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuckreplied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The meremention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last,and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse deliveredby Chuck Norris.

6.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

7.When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms andincludes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

8.Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spentthe first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

9.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is forhandicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spotbelongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you parkthere.

10.According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris canactually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

11.Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicksaren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded byhistorians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

12.Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do withancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

13.The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

14.Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

15.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung likeChuck Norris

16.If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

17.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Twoseconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhousekicks you in the face.

18.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until hegets the information he wants.

19.Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Justnever his own.

20.Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norrisbrought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolongedbeard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and acrowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal,breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth,and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

21.Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: ChuckNorris once ate a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, theturtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Hotter than hell...

Hee haw.

As FG said we went to the Chilli Fiesta on Sunday.

I always thought that I was quite tempered to the stuff because of FG's obsession with the hot stuff. So, when I saw a little bottle labelled "Hotter than Hell" I didn't think twice and thought, hey, it couldn't be hotter than some of the chilli I had made for the boys before. So I grabbed a piece of broken cracker, dipped it and stuck in my mouth.

Picant. Nice. I told Chilli Pepper Pete this. He looked at me with awe bordering on worshipping at my feet when I said nonchalantly "Yeah, this really tastes nice. A bit hotter than the chilli I had made last night. Very nice." And then I turned away to dip some other crackers in the other little bowls and it was after I dipped it in the mango chilli chutney that it all collided together and from one step to the other, I was covered in sweat. I lost my sight, my voice and I literally swayed in pain. FG stood next to me, grabbed my shoulder as I ineffectually dabbed at my forehead with a tissue. It was insane. I didn't learn my lesson though - the rest of the day continued and I tasted as many of the chilli samples as I could. It was grande.

Needless to say, this morning the omelettes tasted very bland. Not because they were, they were gorgeous...it was just the fact that my tongue currently is slightly red, slightly inflamed and not tasting things very well. So, to remedy this, FG scooped a tiny tiny bit of the Hotter than Hell paste from the bottle he bought from Pete and I took a good old lick of it. Needless to say, the lurking sniffles I had of a bit a summer cold coming on has completely diappeared, thinking that I am much too hard to inflict itself upon me. I still can't taste much...FG did however make exceedingly spicy risotto, so I did manage to taste that.

I do however sound a bit like Marlon Brando though, much to the amusement of my team in the Hell Dimension at work today.

Bring on Chilli Fiesta 2007!!!!

Songbirds - 20th August

Peeps, we are excited.

Niki from Never the Bride and the hugely talented Been have put together another Songbirds evening on the 20th at the Bedford. This time around we have the theatre, instead of the rather small room.

According to their gig listing, it looks like we are in for a fantastic evening - NTB will perform as per standard format. Sheer class. We will then be handed over to younglings they have found on MySpace.com. I have listened to some of the music that will be on offer and let me just say, in the words of Nicole Kidman from Practical Magic: "whooohee girls, hold onto your boys!" - it looks to be a bumper evening of brilliant entertainment.

Wow - I have just read the notice on there myself and it looks like the gig will be relayed live on the web! How cool is that.

Copied this - because I am lazy and it is very late - from Niki's site about those performing...and I am proud to say good friend and hugely talented artist wordweaver will be performing too. We are all very excited!

The fantastic line up includes Never the Bride, Rietta Austin, Roberta Howett, Tara MacDonald,Laura Vane, Mikaela Dewar, Jamie Ambrose, Susy Thomas & Elizabeth McGovern.

Keep on Rockin'!

Susy Thomas - Mirror for Me.

Mirror For Me - Susy Thomas


We are all so very excited - Susy's album is out, as is her video which has aired a few times on TV. Unfortunately I haven't caught it on the big screen, as yet, but have watched it online. So here it is, above, for your viewing pleasure.

Also, go out and buy the album. It is a bit dear, but taking into consideration it will be supporting her, her music company and generally "real" artists (not pre-fabricated eejits like these boy bands and slap happy girl bands out there making "music") who have the long old slogg ahead of them.

Remember - you heard the next big thing here!