Monday, December 04, 2006

Catch Up Time

I failed miserably at Nanowrimo - it was a fantastic session though managing to get over 12000 words out - it was a purge.

2 weeks ago I took Sparrow for a walk in the park, on a Thursday morning - he was then attacked by two dogs; first chased by a rotweiler called Sam, then Sam's friend, Sylvie, an American Pit Bull thought it would be a fun game to try and kill the much smaller Jack Russell. Promptly clamped its teeth around Sparrowmaticus's throat and squeezed. I went beserk. Utterly and completely. Ending up smacking this dog with the back of my umbrella - eventually even sticking my hands in its mouth trying to force its jaws apart. Its owner eventually realised that this was more than a game and then tried to get her dog off mine. Sparrow had two punctures in him - I took the day off and took him to the Vet where he got injections and a course of antibiotics. I also rang the police - they came around on Friday - I had also taken the Friday off - to take my statement and to see what the pup looked like after his attack.


The short story is: everyone in the park, all the dogwalkers are now scared of walking their dogs in the park as this woman - dogwoman to those of us who have experienced the awful day - is still bringing her dog (the rottie) to the park - the other one, she told me, a week later, when I happened across her in the park, is undergoing obedience training. I pointed out that Sylvie should be muzzled as it is clearly not a well dog; especially as it had not only attacked Sparrow but also another dog, a border collie and its owner had to beat it off with a stick! She said nothing, talking over me. I also told her that the police want to speak to her about her dogs and the fact that she can't control them - well, she ignored that too. But agreed to pay me Sparrow's vet fees. Frankly, I couldn't give a damn about the vet fees, all I want is for her dog to be under control. Or for her to completely stay away from our small park - everyone is now scared of bringing their animals to the park - am half tempted to get a giant great dane or something to become Sparrowmaticus' guardian.

Grr.

What else...

Oh! I spotted the kestrel in the park - here he is: absolutely gorgeous!

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a236/lilifae1973/Kestrel2.jpg

Other than that, just working, just writing and reading.

And my gosh - have we got a tonne of books to work our way through - I have "discovered" the charity shops and their fantastic selection of really arbitrary books. I have bought tonnes - enough to keep me busy for a few weeks, maybe a few months, at least. Which is rather amazing, taking into consideration what an addict I am.

I have also submitted a review of Mike Carey's The Devil You Know to www.fantasybookspot.com - so we see if anything comes from that - hoot, hoot - hold thumbs.

Other than that, waiting for Christmas to happen - walked around a pedestrainised Regent and Oxford Street on Saturday and MY GOSH, it was amazing - I think they should make it a permanent fixture. It was such an odd feeling walking down a quiet, traffic free Regent Street and being able to look up at the shops and buildings and SEE what an amazing place it was - modernism vying for attention right beside oldie worldie. Grand. And needless to say it was a bumper day for retailers - they must have made shedloads of money.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Exciting adventures around the West End

We got the opportunity to go and see a private viewing of The Prestige last night at the Warner Bros offices in Holborn.

Together with my new colleague Tash, we set off, taking a "short cut" through Covent Garden. We strolled, we chatted - it was grand. Until I fell down.

I have NO idea what the bloody hell happened. I was upright one second, flat on my face the next, kissing the ground in religious fervour. More than the embarrassment I hurt. Man. Everywhere - my bag was slung cross ways over my body and I had my inhaler in my coat pocket. Bag and inhaler got itself slammed into my stomach. When I fell, I somehow managed to angle myself so that I don't fall on my left arm which has already been broken in exactly such a fall...so I landed fully on my right side.

My thumb bent itself backwards in this amazing superhuman feat and kept me upright, preventing my face from fully connecting with the ground. And my palms were scraped. A lovely young chap rushed at me, Tash was stunned as the one second I was next to her then I wasn't and she was still thinking about reacting to help me up, when this young guy was there helping me up. Being a true Londoner I surreptitiously checked my pockets to make sure my tenner I drew had not been robbed - I know, how awful!!!

In pain, and feeling hugely miserable and sorry for myself, but putting on a brave face, we walked through to Holborn.

For two hours and ten minutes I was transported to Victorian England - The Prestige is singularly one of the best movies I had ever seen. It was less about the sensationalism of the acts from back in the day, it was about the magic, the power of obsession and how far people would go for that obsession.

Are you watching closely?

Got home and the cushioning of my hand was so swollen I could hardly move my fingers and especially my thumb. Down-downed some anti-inflamatories with tea, had a hot bath, went to bed with a bandaged hand and woke up with a much improved claw.

Work was awful - I couldn't pick things up properly, my boss made fun of me cos I couldn't type properly, I couldn't undo the buttons on my trousers with my left hand fast enough to go to the loo to pee - it was hilarious and awful at the same time. I got loads of sympathy from everyone and had my food opened for me, my lucozade cap twisted open, my yogurt lid peeled back for me - it was fab...

Much better tonight tho. Here's hoping Lizzy the Claw will be fully functioning to fulful her NanowriMo duties this weekend!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Priceless!


Chuckle!

Sleeping Dogs...



Poor Sparrow - he gets all jittery with the fire crackers exploding. We coddled him most of the night, making sure the music is louder than usual to cut through the loud bangs. In the end, we retired to the computer room to work on our respective Nanowrimo works. I looked down and he had gone to drag his blankie from his chair and was nosing it around on the floor next to me.

How unbearably cute is that? I shook it out so he could cuddle and there he is, fast asleep. A little bundle of sheer misery.

I feel bad in that I have not written as Mark - my word count is only 3539!

Six word stories

I have started reading the brilliantly astounding Mark Chadbourn and on his forum, one of the members posted a link to Wired Magazine.

I don't think there is any copyright infringement here, so I will copy a handful of the stories across - they are brilliant.

Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), but the rest are concise masterpieces.


Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.- William Shatner
Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?- Eileen Gunn
Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.- David Brin
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.- Joss Whedon
Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.- Stan Lee
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time- Alan Moore
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.- Margaret Atwood
His penis snapped off; he’s pregnant!- Rudy Rucker
From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.- Gregory Maguire
Internet “wakes up?” Ridicu -no carrier.- Charles Stross
With bloody hands, I say good-bye.- Frank Miller
Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.- Steven Meretzky
“Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”- Ronald D. Moore
Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.- Vernor Vinge
It cost too much, staying human.- Bruce Sterling
We kissed. She melted. Mop please!- James Patrick Kelly
It’s behind you! Hurry before it- Rockne S. O’Bannon
I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.- Stephen Baxter
1940: Young Hitler! Such a cantor!- Michael Moorcock
Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.- Richard Powers
I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ?- Neil Gaiman
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.- Orson Scott Card
Kirby had never eaten toes before.- Kevin Smith
Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.- Howard Waldrop
To save humankind he died again.- Ben Bova
We went solar; sun went nova.- Ken MacLeod
Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”- Paul Di Filippo
“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”- Howard Chaykin
Don’t marry her. Buy a house.- Stephen R. Donaldson
Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man.- Mark Millar
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …- Harry Harrison
Tick tock tick tock tick tick.- Neal Stephenson
Easy. Just touch the match to- Ursula K. Le Guin
Special Web-only edition: We were unable to include these 59 stories in the print magazine.
New genes demand expression -- third eye.- Greg Bear
K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged
18 - Closed Casket- Richard K. Morgan
WORLD'S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.- Gregory Benford
Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it.- Brian Herbert
Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties.- Cory Doctorow
Heaven falls. Details at eleven.- Robert Jordan
Bush told the truth. Hell froze.- William Gibson
whorl. Help! I'm caught in a time- Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel
Nevertheless, he tried a third time.- James P. Blaylock
God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”- Marc Laidlaw
Help! Trapped in a text adventure!- Marc Laidlaw
Thought I was right. I wasn't.- Graeme Gibson
Lost, then found. Too bad.- Graeme Gibson
Three to Iraq. One came back.- Graeme Gibson
Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?- David Brin
Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.- David Brin

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Gemma

Ah, the funeral was today. It was awful, sad, poignant, I sobbed my heart out.

Farewell to the trees,
and flowers,
To mountain, and stream, and dell,
Farewell to the glorious sunlight,
To the moon and stars, "Farewell"

Monday, October 23, 2006

Songbirds - October at the Bedford

Wow.

We had an amazing evening last night at the Bedford. We met up with scrummy Wordweaver and her hilariously funny partner, A for an evening of chat and good music. Niki hosted the show case and sounded incredibly sexy, complete with tonsilitus so she didn't sing with her co-partner in crime - Been. But she fizzed with energy and introduced the artists with humour and good grace.

A few people didn't show up to the gig, mostly because they were flat-out sick with flu, the other excuse was a heartbreaking break-up that very morning by one of the artists with her partner. However, this shaky start did not deter from a brilliant evening.


The highlights were Sweet Laredo - this duo from Brisol has a diversity that is utterly mesmerising. The lead singer, Sarah Scott and her accompanying good friend on guitar, Dan Coggins utterly rocked the house with a bit of country, a bit of jazzy rock a bit of gospel. Sarah is a funky lead singer - she grins, the audience grins, her humour is as infectious as is her vocals. She seriously belts out the songs with great gusto and from this small lady, comes a very big voice. Excellent stuff.

Niki introduced October next. I tried finding her on myspace but am not sure if I am missing a surname somewhere for her. Her music however is folksy, a bit angry, a bit cheeky and she will no doubt be someone to watch in the future as Niki read a few reviews from different folk festivals October had played at and they were all rave reviews. It would be interesting to watch this young 23 year old artist grow and see how far she makes it.



Eliza Wren Payne stepped up next - and my god, when I come back I want this girl's legs and talent. She is funny, quirky and her musical talent is something to boggle your mind. Her voice is light and airy with a range that astounds. Her songs, all written by her, carry a unique wistful quality that makes your eyes water. She stood there, her posture ramrod straight, guitar slung across her like shoulder, gave the audience this quirky grin and set off to entertain. Listening to her, I realised that Songbirds is doing something truly unique, showcasing talented young female artists. The exposure these young women are getting is increasing their profile in the music industry and slowly but surely they will make it big. We bought a copy of Eliza's 7 song album for a fiver and drove home listening to it. It is as funky and fun as she is, as quirky and a perfect "noise" for a cold winters evening. It was great.

Three young artists also performed, known as the Revelations. They are young, pretty and very talented. Eventhough I enjoyed their music, I wasn't struck by them as much as I was by say, Eliza or Sweet Laredo. Revelations have got a single coming out at the end of November and I wish them the best of luck. I think, once they have grown a bit, once they are more relaxed in their role as performers, they will be taking the music industry by storm. Their second set was much better than their first. You go girls and all the luck to you.

We drove home last night, filled with music and positive vibes - I have come to love our monthly music fixes with Niki and Been. Two great ladies who should both be receiving rewards for their service to the music industry.

Oh, and if Niki reads this - happy birthday for this coming Saturday! You don't look older than a fresh virginal 18 year old.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

More words!!




Have written in excess of 11,ooo words. Mark has read it and professed it good. I am pleased. In the course of my research into all things Trojan and Spartan, I found this incredible poem.

Spartan Soldier

It is beautiful when a brave man of the front ranks,
falls and dies,
battling for his homeland,
and ghastly when a man flees
planted fields and city
and wanders begging
with his dear mother,aging father, little children and true wife.

He will be scorned in every new village,
reduced to want and loathsome poverty;
and shame
will brand his family line,
his noblefigure.
Derision and disaster will hound him.

A turncoat gets no respect or pity;
so let us battle for our country
and freely giveour lives
to save our darling children.

Young men, fight shield to shield
and never succumbto panic or miserable flight,
but steel the heart in your chests
with magnificence and courage.

Forget your own life
when you grapple with the enemy.

Never run
and let an old soldier collapse
whose legs have lost their power.

It is shocking when an old man lies
on the front line
before a youth:
an old warrior whose head is white
and beard gray, exhaling his strong soul
into the dust, clutching his bloody genitals
into his hands:
an abominable vision,
foul to see: his flesh naked.

But in a young man
all is beautiful when he still
possesses the shining flower of lovely youth.

Alive he is adored by men,
desired by women, and finest to look upon
when he falls dead in the forward clash.

Let each man spread his legs,
rooting them in the ground,
bite his teeth into his lips,
and hold.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Colour!




Check out this advert - the same guy who did the bouncing balls around San Fran - this is totally mind blowing stuff.

70,000 litres of paint
358 single bottle bombs
33 sextuple air cluster bombs
22 Triple hung cluster bombs
268 mortars
33 Triple Mortars
22 Double mortars
358 meters of weld
330 meters of steel pipe
57 km of copper wire

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Sad news this morning:



I received such heart breaking news this morning. A young, beautiful, vibrant, funny, talented and special lady whom I used to work with at my previous company, had passed away.

She had meticulously planned for it, leaving a letter for her parents, booked herself into a hotel on Monday morning and taken an overdose of her grandmother's pills which she had kept from everyone. Together with a lot of alcohol she said goodbye to the world.

I am stunned. I have, admittedly, not spoken to her for about two months but had never for one nanosecond thought that she would be the type to commit suicide. Her funeral will be next week Thursday - having spoken with her dad, he said that the world had lost a very good actress as she kept up such an amazing front, only very rarely giving in to her depression. Her family, of course knew of her battle. The rest of us only glimpsed it.

Farewell sweetest friend, she of the bright laugh, the holidays in Italy, the mad singing of Abba songs, the irrepressable Barry Manilow fan. You will be missed, more than you will ever know. Its as if life has become a bit less bright without you.

I knew she liked Christina Rosetti's work and this poem I found for her.

I hope you have found the peace you sought.

When I Am Dead, My Dearest

When I am dead, my dearest,

Sing no sad songs for me;

Plant thou no roses at my head,

Nor shady cypress tree:

Be the green grass above me

With showers and dewdrops wet;

And if thou wilt, remember,

And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,

I shall not feel the rain;

I shall not hear the nightingale

Sing on, as if in pain:

And dreaming through the twilight

That doth not rise nor set,

Haply I may remember,

And haply may forget.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Words!


Pat on the shoulder to me today - after taking the dog for a walk, coming back, deciding that it would be a good idea to make chocolate muffins and then making a lunch of some toasties and watching Munic on Sky, Mark and I retired upstairs.

He continued killing things online, I wrote my little heart out. Around three thousand words. Good words too. Go me.

Nervous giggle.

Now for that crucial 97,000 words to go. Approximately.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sumat to howl about


Hah - new look for the old site...realised I had the candy coloured look for almost a year and I am being faithful to my own lunacy and have decided to change it...it probably won't stay looking like this for very long either - eventough I love the look of the howling wolf, I am wondering if its me...

Anyway.

So, spent an interesting day mucking around with wireless broadband. Am sitting wireless on the couch in the lounge feeling very Johnny Mnemonic (without the creepy shit in my brain) wondering what tomorrow and the next 2 weeks will hold.

Yep. I am on holiday. As is the Mark. Two weeks. Our first holiday this year. For longer than a day, or two, for that matter.

So, in a stupid fit of insanity and inspired by an author whom I admire, I went and joined this November writing thing called Nanowrimo - National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. Its international. I have joined the London set. Apparently there is a bit of, you know, prestige to it as there is a thing called Word Wars - yep, country against country and within its counties against counties or states vs states. You get the idea. So exciting and scary. But fun. Nervous giggle.

Yep, I am completely insane, howling mad. But hey, as they say, it will force you to be creative and such like. And, the way I see it, it will help tremendously with just getting thoughts out there - its not quality that counts in this instance, but quality. Hmmm. I know. As a someone who likes writing and writing well enough not to go gagging over a bin at the quality of it, this is going to be tricksy. But fun. More nervous laughter...its been equated to a chess master playing speed chess - it messes you up. Just call me Lizzy Kasparoff.

As for the rest of the holiday planned - not a clue. We will be going to a local Kent brewery though, for a tour and a tasting. Naturally this is for Mark as I can't stand the stuff myself but the way I see it: its an adventure, its local (Faversham) and its relatively cheap at £7! I also want to go to the Tate, British AND London Museum, the movies, walk along the river, maybe Brighton, maybe Cambridge and Oxford again. In fact, just everywhere and anywhere - and read a lot and sleep a lot and write as much as I can. Oh and tinker with the different websites. I even tinkered with My Favourite Books one too - go me!

Will no doubt be around to tell the world of the exciting life and times of Liz, Mark and Sparrow - on holiday.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Visits to the park





Early mornings, the park and some scenes that refreshes you for the day ahead...hmmmm. The pirate, well, he was accidental, but very cool.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Day off...

No Jeans for Genes day for me! I have got a day's holiday - a forced holiday because a) the gasman is coming around "sometime during the morning" and b) I get to go to the dentist in the pm. Yay me.

But, I am planning to use the time constructively to write. I finished in excess of two thousand plus words on Sunday, and I am keen on continuing. I have a clear idea of what I would like to happen - lets see if it does!

Other news is: I wore a scarf with my jacket today. I was icy cold when I took the Sparrowmaticus out to run in the park this morning and I couldn't bear the trip down to the station and not being warm...the train driver compensated though by having the heating on...off came the scarf and jacket.

I also saw two Irish wolf hounds in the park this morning - they were gorgeous. Sparrow felt intimidated by their size and ran away from them. I didn't spot the kestrel I have been trying to take pictures of all week, having spotted him each morning - the day I take my camera out...no sign of the bloody bird. Go figure.

On the way home Sparrow and I stumbled across a young boy dressed as a pirate - yep, dressed up as Cap'n Jack "Savvy" Sparrow, the young lad looked fab. He was all of seven or eight years old and looked fantastic. If I remember to download the pictures I will post it on here. Another reason to take your camera with you.

Got to work and realised that my boss has seriously no people skills at all. This put me in a foul temper and I refused to speak to anyone in my team till after lunch - also note that boss had gone out on a "mysterious" errand which helped loads. Just seeing him had me entertaining a large client folder in the face dropped from a great height. Try and explain that to the "death in service" insurance people. "Sorry, I was cleaning the file when it went off. Five times, crushing his skull." Yeah, I don't think anyone will believe me either.

On the other hand, the book swopping business seems to be up and running at work which is seriously good news - we have expanded to two boxes of books now - varied selection of chick lit, murder, mystery and thrillers to a few odd sci-fi books and a Umberto Ecco which I had read years ago in hard cover. Thrilling things! I love books. I am now known as Mrs. Waterstones - I vetoed the "Librarian" title as I didn't relish being linked with Terry Pratchett's Librarian from his disc world series...I know I am not hairy enough to be an urangatang.

All from me for now. Go day off!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Rescued books



On Saturday past we were on our way to friends, around a half a block away from our destination, we drove past a charity shop and they were throwing books out, into a skip. I was amazed, almost in tears! I jumped out of the car, after ringing our friend and ordering her to bring bags - we were rescuing books.

We got to the two skips to find a small crowd of people there already. We asked the charity shop manager what was going on: too many books to sell and to display, so they would rather throw them out than try and rehome them in other shops or recycle them.

Stunned and amazed we filled bags with really good quality books - from kiddies Disney books to an old edition of Ernest Hemingway's works, to a compiled journal of poetry to modern novels - it was a smorgasboard of books. I figure that between the two of us, Almay and I carried away around 100 books. So many people stopped by and the books they picked up were of such a wide range - everything from Word and Microsoft XP manuals to DIY books, to cookery books. It was good to see though...but incredibly sad.

I have started a book exchange at work and have taken a load of the rescued books in to find new homes. PD James, John Gresham, Stephen King - all these authors will soon have someone else to entertain.

Poor books - fortunately most of them are safe. I reckon they tossed out around seven hundred books in those two skips. I don't think, having seen that, that my books will be going to charity shops again. If I can find someone to take them off my hands, I would rather do that. When I saw it happen it was my own personal hell, you know. Never again, charity shops, will you get my treasures I deign not to keep. They will be exchanged or stored, instead.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

To Autumn

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel;
to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.
By Keats
I am so excited, watching the seasons change is like watched Nature in her boudoir as she shimmies from one outfit to the other.
The early mornings are getting decidedly nippy now - when I take Sparrowmaticus for a run in the park before I leave for work - the air has got that strange crisp smell and feel about it that makes you want to go home and bake bread and invite friends around to eat the fresh bread and home made soup. I found myself thinking about making some preserves - I did try once but fluffled it completely - a gorgeous pot got tossed into the rubbish because of the flop. Much to Mark's hilarity and my own blushes. Did it occur to me to SOAK the dried apricots before trying to make jam? No. Yes, I am a townie. And sometimes, even for all my level headedness in the kitchen, I can do the stupidist things.
Also thinking of taking up knitting. Again. I was incredibly good at it when I was little. I had this gorgeous fluffy bright orange teddy whom I loved loved loved and I used to knit little outfits for it - he owned a pair of dungarees, trousers, a white woolen shirt and for those cold winter days, he had a blue coat that looked like mine. Of course, I stopped knitting when I went to high school out of sheer rebellion - the home economics teacher was an insane highly strung mare with bright red hair and a hook nose with the most insanely trilling voice - maybe two girls out of our class chose to continue the subject. If only I had the inclination to stick it out I am pretty sure I would have become a pattern maker or maybe a chef...isn't it strange how teachers can mess you up?
Anyway, I digress - yes, so this feeling of autumn has hit me and all I want to do is make preserves, bake bread, make fresh homemade soups, knit and have friends around. So many things to do, so little time!
And in honour of the wanting to do it all, here is my favourite recipe from St Delia's website for making some gorgeous foccacia breads:

Mini Focaccia Bread with Red Onion, Olive and Rosemary Topping

Focaccia is an Italian flat bread made with olive oil. The flavour of the oil is important, so it's advisable to use a good, strong, fruity virgin olive oil for this.

Makes enough for 4 mini focaccia
Ingredients
12 oz (350 g) plain white flour, plus a little extra for dusting
1 tablespoon olive oil

Begin by sifting the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl, then sprinkle in the yeast and mix that in. Next pour in 7½ fl oz (210 ml) warm water along with 1½ tablespoons of olive oil and mix everything to a dough that leaves the sides of the bowl clean (if necessary you can add a few more drops of water). Now turn the dough out on to a lightly floured surface and knead it for about 10 minutes (alternatively you can use an electric mixer with a dough hook and process for 5 minutes).
When the dough feels very bouncy and elastic, return it to the bowl, cover with clingfilm and leave in a warm place until it has doubled in size (about 1½ hours or more depending on the heat in the kitchen: if there's no suitable warm place you can sit the bowl over a saucepan of warm water – but not over direct heat). After that, turn the dough out on to the work surface and punch the air out by kneading it again for 2-3 minutes. Now it's ready for topping.
Take two thirds of the olives and push them evenly into the dough, then divide the dough into four and place the sections on an oiled baking sheet, then use your hands to pat out each piece into a sort of oblong, rounded at the ends and measuring 4 x 3 inches (10 x 7.5 cm). Next, sprinkle a quarter of the remaining olives and a quarter of the rosemary and onions on to each piece. Finally, sprinkle the surface with sea salt and drizzle the olive oil all over each focaccia.
Cover with a damp tea cloth and leave the dough to puff up again for 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, pre-heat the oven to gas mark 5, 375°F (190°C). When the 30 minutes are up, bake the breads in the oven for about 15 minutes or until they are golden round the edges and look well cooked in the centre. Cool on a wire rack and serve warm.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Treasures for me!

As a special treat to myself - as I have not bought esoteric books or tarot cards for almost six months - I get to splurge this month and buy a set of tarot cards.

I see you shaking your head. Yes, I know I have got around eighteen sets already but they are all so incredibly pretty. I think my most recent set is the Etruscan cards which I bought more than a year ago. I initially bought the set as I quite liked the idea of the stylised drawings of each card and was wondering about doing some pyrography - i.e. get a nice round of wood, or square even, like an unvarnished chopping or carving block, tracing an enlarged figure from one of the cards onto it and then burning it into the wood with my pyrography machine. I never got that far, but I might! The cards below are some of the pictures from the Etruscan deck.


I tend to check my favourite sellers website first and see if anything on there strikes my fancy. They not only stock tarot cards but playing cards too along with cards for magic. I have bought say maybe half of my decks off them and they are fantastic to transact with - you place your order, they send it to you and voila! within three days, at the most, you are the proud owner of a lovely new set of cards.

I can hear people wondering: why do you need so many different decks? Well, why do you need so many shoes and handbags or clothes? They each suit a different mood, don't they? The same with tarot cards. I know loads of people think they are bumph but at the same time, I bet you they are hugely superstitious about them too. They would rather eat cold soup than have their cards read. Why is that? Is it because it is forbidden to know your future according to the bible? Did you know that King James was so scared of people with supernatural powers, and so superstitious, he had the bible altered to suit his fears, thereby outlawing witchcraft- and soothsaying and fortunetelling? Yep, its a fact - and not even a Dan Brown made up fact. Look it up. I double dare you.

So anyway, I am really looking forward to agonising about and over my next purchase. Of course, I will have to find the perfect box or silk scarf to go with it. Oh, and these are the people who I buy from.

Good quality and fantastic turn-around time.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Farewell, older sister!

Wow, how quickly has this week flown? My sister has been, attended her clinical training week, and gone. All that is left behind now is the memory of too much shopping and the foul taste of smoke and cigarettes in my mouth.

I will miss her dreadfully, it was fantastic having her around, to show her London, listening to her stories of her grand kids...yes, how shocking is that, I am a great aunt. What I won't miss is the fact that being around her for mmmh, maybe three days, has so completely messed up my chest it feels like I cannot breathe properly. I am gasping like a fish. It is godawful. I think I went through two inhalers last week - I forget completely how invase cigarette smoke is.

For that reason, I am glad to see her go. And I am dreading the reprise - around January or February. She is due to be back for her company's annual global meeting. She is planning a week with the company and a week with us - and she might bring her hubby, also a smoker with. Mark and I are petrified. We are wondering how to escape this. Maybe we fly back to SA when they are here?

I know, horrible. I am a terrible sister, but I cannot see past the filthy habit. It is what put both my parents in the grave, surely someone who has seen the effects of smoking will wake up and realise that it is killing them. I know it has already done irreparaible damage to me - my lungs are scarred, hence the sucking (unsexy) on an inhaler. I would love to be able to jog or run - I can't. I go down in a messy heap. Serious exercise flattens me. I do long walks, armed with an inhaler.

Oh well, I suppose that it is sort of spitting in the eye of death, isn't it? Anyway - the sister trial is over - we now don't have to get up at 4am in the morning for at least another erm...four months, at least.

Whoo hoo, a week of healthy food, smoke free air and loads of "runs" in the park with the LWD. Who even started sneezing when my sister lit up. How hilarious. I could hug him for it. She looked a bit peeved when he sat looking at her and just kept on sneezing. Grin.

Time for bed.

Monday, September 04, 2006

What a "charming" day...

Sunday we fell out of bed at stupid o'clock (half four am) to go through to Heathrow to collect beloved Elize....we got there at quarter past six, ran into Terminal 1 building (what a huge dump!!) and found that her flight had been delayed by twenty minutes. No probs, we thought, we would have some coffee at Costa's.

Eventually the boards indicated that the plane has landed - 35 mins late. A further 20 mins later, it showed that they were busy going through customs and in baggage...ten minutes later I get a text message from my sister - she had managed to slip past me whilst I had gone back to the table, having been shoved aside my every single dodgy taxi driver, clasping placards with names scrawled across them.

The reunion was tearful. She declined the coffee but demanded to be taken outside so that she can have a cigarette. I stared at her in shock. Erm, smoking...cigarette...crap, I forgot she didn't realise the extent of my asthma which I had been afflicted with because both my parents smoked and for 23 years I had been a passive smoker. Reason number 1 why we tend to keep out of smoky pubs...plus it smells terrible.

So we hover outside for a few minutes whilst she drags on her ciggie. In the end we pile into the car, out of revenge for smoking, I make her sit in the back of the jeep. She doesn't complain. Grin. It took around an hour to get home - seriously good going because there was very little traffic. Once we got home she immediately lit up again, in the diningroom. Mark and I were flabbergasted - she didn't ask. Mark's face went a bit pale in annoyance, I opted out of the room to make breakfast scones.

We chatted stiltedly - how much conversation can you pack in after not seeing a person for five years...and before that, I hardly knew her - she is 53 this year. I am 33. I was a babe in arms when she left the house to marry her lovely hubby - I grew up with her kids, my nephew and niece and we were more like brother and sisters than I was with my OWN sister. It was odd. She was amazed that I was "domesticated" - it made me grin, imagining myself living wild in the forest, eating berries and trapping rabbits. What did she expect? I got the size I am by living off love and fresh air?

We chatted a bit more - discovering that we had little enough in common - her life was her daughter, and her grandkids...yep, my niece is older than 21...not quite sure how much older, and she has 2 kids. So the conversation turned to how cute my niece's kids were. And she told us how hard she worked and what a fantastically lucky person she is, having won a few thousand rand on gambling machines...we are MAKING her buy a euromillions ticket this Friday.

After breakfast her eyes started sagging and we packed her off to bed, whilst sitting downstairs in the dying fumes of cigarette smell and wondered how she could not have asked us if she could smoke...we have a perfectly fine garden to do this in - now the entire house just reeks. And I am gasping like a fish.

We watched a movie whilst she slept...then we slept a bit too. The howling 7 year old next door woke me up though after a half an hour nap by shrieking for AN HOUR - having been locked in her bedroom by her mother. Jeezus, on a smurfing Sunday afternoon!! I was tempted to ring the cops or burn their house down. In the end I made sure I closed all the windows - nice one - too try and drown out some of the noise. I kid you not, this little girl is can take part in an Olympic screaming contest and win, hands down.

I was suicidal.

Dinner, once everyone was awake, took place at Zizzi's in Beckenham. She was amazed at how nice the food was, I grinned smugly. We went for drinks afterwards at The George pub and we purposefully sat outside. Mark got slobbered on quite badly by a large black dog the size of a Grizly bear - its name: Barney. Barney proceeded to sniff out hidden treats in Mark's pockets which he tends to keep for Sparrow.

We walked home, chatting a bit more freely now, feeling more relaxed in one another's company.

This morning we saw Mark off to work, got ready and dragged her HUGEly vast suitcase to the station - how much clothes do you need for a week? Mark and I use a cabin sized suitcase for BOTH of us. Anyway, this we left at the Luggage place at Charing X for the day, whilst we went walking around town.

The one thing I have to say about my sister is: she appreciates beauty. As we were at Charing X I took her to Trafalgar Square and her jaw dropped - she confessed to not realising how pretty London could be. I showed her the secret view; standing behind Nelson's Column, you have a view of Big Ben, Houses of Parliament and Westminster...it was a gorgeous morning.

We hit Covent Garden and suddenly found ourselves arm in arm, strolling around, pointing out people. antiques, shops and what we would love to be able to afford. The odd stiffness from yesterday was gone and together we reminisced about my mom, my sisters, my spoilt bratt brother who at 44 should know how to not behave like a 4 year old, but he doesn't. The antiques market was in full swing in the CG and we oohed and aahed. We went to the traditional toymakers Snooks and she bought tonnes of toys for my great-niece and nephew. I got a smurf for Mark. Those in the know would know how much I love the little blue guys! We found a fantastic jewellery shop, spent about half an hour in there and bought a beatifull fresh pearl bracelet with garnets for my niece - even I was amazed at how cheap it was.





I was planning to show her so much more, but we ambled from one stall to another, she charmed a lovely Scottish chap and we chatted to him for ages, finding out all about his own antique trading days. I fell in love with a tiny Jewish man with fierce eyes and the most beautiful smile. He must have been around a hundred, I think. White bearded and dressed in a suit as old as Noah's Ark he ruled three tables and looked like a true Patriach. We ambled some more, I got bought a lovely charm bracelet, to which I added an articulated silver charm teddy AND - the best thing - a tiny viking complete with articulated legs and arms; when you moved his legs, his arms moved too and he has a shield on one arm and an axe in the other hand = so perfect.

I paid for a lovely lunch and we chatted tonnes. Eventually we made our way back to Charing X, we picked up her left luggage and travelled to London Bridge. I stuck her on the train to Luton for her conference, in the care of a very sweet South African boy, of around nineteen who insisted on helping her with this giant bag - he promised me faithfully to look after her. I happily waved them off and came home where I opened every door, window and crevice I could find in the house, lit two incense sticks and took Sparrow for a walk.

I am happy to report the house once again is ours. She is with us on Friday afternoon and flies off to SA on Saturday evening. She is smitten enough with London, thus far, to promise to come back in February for their annual conference...Mark and I are planning to to book her and her lovely hubby into a hotel as we do not think our lungs are up to two weeks' worth of ciggie smoke....

So, it really does go to show how odd it is meeting up with family after a long while. I am glad she came, I have showed her my stomping ground. London is an amazing city and for a newly made Britisher, I am very proud of my city and my adopted country.

I so swear, guv!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Two more sleeps!


...and my sister Elize arrives from SA.

I am so excited I can hardly sit still. The house is almost immaculate. We only have to sort out the bedroom, tidy away clean washing and hang up some suits and voila! we have a home that is habitable.

I haven't seen her or anyone from my family in almost five years - a long, long old time, isn't it? If only South African Airways could fly more flights for cheaper there, it would be fab. But at anything from £500 upwards for a single ticket it has become a bit of a joke.

But hey, E will be here for a full week - admittedly I will only see her for part of that, as she will be going to a boring medical conference of some sort up in the wilds of Bedfordshire and all I can think of is: what will I feed her? The last time I had to cook for her I made tuna toasties, which at that time, had been the FULL extent of my repertoire. Thank heavens it has increased dramatically since then.

A girl can only live on tuna toasties that long!

So - two more sleeps. Up incredibly early on Sunday morning for the drive through to Heathrow - perfect day for travelling through town = not only is it the last leg of the cycling but it is also the Regent Street Festival which means: traffic jams everywhere. So, we are praying to zip there and zip back.

Off I go to check www.deliaonline.co.uk for a nice sumat to make.

Will report back on the deliciousness after the fact.

Well, either that or tell you of the exciting restaurant we opted for!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Rock on!



Wow, it has taken a few days to recover from the Songbirds evening at the Bedford on Monday.

*G*

It was fantastic, as usual. The Thelma and Louise of music (Niki and Been) did a stonking opening set at the Globe Theatre - yet another secret room at the Bedford. Those ladies should run Battle of the Bands competitions on tv - honestly. With their noses for sniffing out talent and for cultivating and encouraging it in growing, they should bottle and sell themselves.

Or not. Because if they do, we will be without these showcases of new talent.

I am sorry to say that at this point in time, I do not recall all of the fantastic artists performing and will remedy that by emailing Niki and adding them in, but in the meantime these are the ones I remember - and I was on lemonade all night long, Officer!

Jamie Ambrose - the inimitable wordweaver performed two songs which she had written and they were stonking. Her first live performance to a large audience in 20 years and even if the first song's lyrics got away from her for a few seconds, she was charming and had everyone in the palm of her hand with her inimitable self-deprecating way. I think she got the biggest round of applause of that whole night. We love you, Ms Ambrose!!!!!

Young Roberta was up next with her wistful sounds - she is a Tori Amos/Kate Bush mix and as pretty as a doll. She had a friend with her who accompanied her on the cello and it provided a pleasant counterpoint to her ethereal voice.

Next I remember Susy Thomas who insisted on explaining to people that she was not the comedy act for the evening, she was there to sing. Her first two songs she fluffed the start of, just to prove to Jamie that these things happen and if you are gracious about it, you win the audience over - snaps finger - like that. Her performance was strong and she played three songs masterfully - her new album is out and me, the fangirl that I am, ran after her after the main break and got her to sign my CD. Neh neh neh!


After the main break, Rietta Austin and her nine man band came onstage - three guitarists, one drummer, one keyboard player, three backup singers and the gorgeous Rietta herself. You know, apparently one of the chaps from INXS was quoted as saying "Rietta is music". I strongly and utterly deny and defy that. She is a force of nature. This woman has the most amazing voice and stage presence - she rivalled Niki - and hell, that says a lot. The very second she had her boys and girls start up their first song, the entire vibe in the room changed. She was sex on legs, prowling, singing, flirting, dancing - it was amazing to watch. A Kiwi, and quite well known in NZ, she is no doubt going to make it BIG here in the UK. I hope so - her album is out in around six weeks. And it is one of those albums, I think, which you have to LISTEN TO REALLY LOUDLY because any other volume just would not do.

As I said earlier, this review is not as good as it could be, as I do not recall the other people's names who had performed, so I will get the details from Niki and do the review properly. I do not want to call them "The tiny lady with the big voice wearing the red dress who sang the slightly country and western music songs that made you want to hug your nearest and dearest" or "The pretty English girl who performed right at the end of the evening who has a voice like smoke" - it just would not wash - especially with Niki.

I promise to do the rest, hopefully, by the end of the week.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Storms

Wow. I can't remember the last time I saw and heard a storm like the one we had this afternoon.

Growing up in SA's East Rand, where the days were incredibly hot and dry, until around four or five in the afternoon when these huge thunderclouds would drift across, which signalled yet another violent thunder storm, before soaking th earth in rich sharp bursts, then the clouds would disappear. These storms were amazing to watch - standing out in the back yard, feeling the sheer force of nature whipping around you, much to my mother's horror. It was incredibly powerful stuff.

Pretty much like today, actually, except for the blazingly hot skies. It has been bizarre - three separate storms, the one more powerful and noisy than the other, to the extent where we could hear the little girl next door burst out in tears as a thunderclap so loud slapped itself seemingly down, outside in the back garden. It shook the houses around us, deafening us - poor Sparrow thought it was Odin coming for his bone.

Things have quietened down, for now. Just a steady long soft drizzle outside. Home made potato and leek soup with cripsy fresh breadrolls fed us whilst the thunder and lightening broiled. We wished for even colder weather, an excuse for rich stews, loads of candles and the crisp morning air so cold it hurt to breathe it.

We are definitely Autumn and Winter children.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Chopsaki! Hazaaaah!

I love and adore naff karate movies - as FG has his fixation with REALLY bad horor and zombie movies, I enjoy kung fu/karate and other dubious chopsaki movies. And therefore, I am a big fan of Chuck Norris. Seriously. Such a big fan that I felt obliged to post these trueisms when it got emailed to me today.

Chuck Norris is a god

1. Wilt Chamberlin claims to of slept with over 20,000 women in hislifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

2.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

3.As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tuckedaway in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birthto the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team inprofessional football history.

4.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

5.A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuckreplied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The meremention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last,and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse deliveredby Chuck Norris.

6.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

7.When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms andincludes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

8.Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spentthe first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

9.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is forhandicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spotbelongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you parkthere.

10.According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris canactually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

11.Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicksaren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded byhistorians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

12.Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do withancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

13.The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

14.Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

15.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung likeChuck Norris

16.If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

17.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Twoseconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhousekicks you in the face.

18.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until hegets the information he wants.

19.Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Justnever his own.

20.Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norrisbrought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolongedbeard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and acrowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal,breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth,and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

21.Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: ChuckNorris once ate a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, theturtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Hotter than hell...


Hee haw.

As FG said we went to the Chilli Fiesta on Sunday.

I always thought that I was quite tempered to the stuff because of FG's obsession with the hot stuff. So, when I saw a little bottle labelled "Hotter than Hell" I didn't think twice and thought, hey, it couldn't be hotter than some of the chilli I had made for the boys before. So I grabbed a piece of broken cracker, dipped it and stuck in my mouth.

Picant. Nice. I told Chilli Pepper Pete this. He looked at me with awe bordering on worshipping at my feet when I said nonchalantly "Yeah, this really tastes nice. A bit hotter than the chilli I had made last night. Very nice." And then I turned away to dip some other crackers in the other little bowls and it was after I dipped it in the mango chilli chutney that it all collided together and from one step to the other, I was covered in sweat. I lost my sight, my voice and I literally swayed in pain. FG stood next to me, grabbed my shoulder as I ineffectually dabbed at my forehead with a tissue. It was insane. I didn't learn my lesson though - the rest of the day continued and I tasted as many of the chilli samples as I could. It was grande.

Needless to say, this morning the omelettes tasted very bland. Not because they were, they were gorgeous...it was just the fact that my tongue currently is slightly red, slightly inflamed and not tasting things very well. So, to remedy this, FG scooped a tiny tiny bit of the Hotter than Hell paste from the bottle he bought from Pete and I took a good old lick of it. Needless to say, the lurking sniffles I had of a bit a summer cold coming on has completely diappeared, thinking that I am much too hard to inflict itself upon me. I still can't taste much...FG did however make exceedingly spicy risotto, so I did manage to taste that.

I do however sound a bit like Marlon Brando though, much to the amusement of my team in the Hell Dimension at work today.

Bring on Chilli Fiesta 2007!!!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Songbirds - 20th August

Peeps, we are excited.

Niki from Never the Bride and the hugely talented Been have put together another Songbirds evening on the 20th at the Bedford. This time around we have the theatre, instead of the rather small room.

According to their gig listing, it looks like we are in for a fantastic evening - NTB will perform as per standard format. Sheer class. We will then be handed over to younglings they have found on MySpace.com. I have listened to some of the music that will be on offer and let me just say, in the words of Nicole Kidman from Practical Magic: "whooohee girls, hold onto your boys!" - it looks to be a bumper evening of brilliant entertainment.

Wow - I have just read the notice on there myself and it looks like the gig will be relayed live on the web! How cool is that.

Copied this - because I am lazy and it is very late - from Niki's site about those performing...and I am proud to say good friend and hugely talented artist wordweaver will be performing too. We are all very excited!

The fantastic line up includes Never the Bride, Rietta Austin, Roberta Howett, Tara MacDonald,Laura Vane, Mikaela Dewar, Jamie Ambrose, Susy Thomas & Elizabeth McGovern.

Keep on Rockin'!

Susy Thomas - Mirror for Me.

Mirror For Me - Susy Thomas


We are all so very excited - Susy's album is out, as is her video which has aired a few times on TV. Unfortunately I haven't caught it on the big screen, as yet, but have watched it online. So here it is, above, for your viewing pleasure.

Also, go out and buy the album. It is a bit dear, but taking into consideration it will be supporting her, her music company and generally "real" artists (not pre-fabricated eejits like these boy bands and slap happy girl bands out there making "music") who have the long old slogg ahead of them.

Remember - you heard the next big thing here!

Monday, July 31, 2006

Migraines...who bloody needs them, Part 3



Taking today off. Had to email a schedule I worked on this weekend though so I thought I would blog some artwork which just about explains the soreness of the head this morning. But only just.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Adventures of the LWD



As duly noted by FG we dragged Sparrow all over Whitstable on Saturday. It was hot, he was hot and miserable. He stopped wagging his tail at strangers and didn't even summon up the happiness to lick and slobber over anyone by the end of the day. He was a seriously miserable little dog. We took no notice as he insists on coming on outings!

This morning, he decided to get back at me for taking him on said nightmare outing. As is my wont, we went for a walk in the park in the morning, before I leave for work. Exercise for both of us, it clears my mind, it gives him a chance to run, pee, sniff, poop, cavort with other canines and such.

This morning, his highness decided to find the only dead thing in the park and roll in it. Nice. I shouted at him, he jumped up, tongue lolling, looking for all the world, as pleased with himself as you could imagine. I kid you not - if his ears weren't in the way, the doggy grin on his face would have gone all the way around his head.

So, we speed marched around the park, me studiously ignoring smelly little dog cavorting about the long grass like a antelope, surprising the living bejeezus out of a rather frail old Westie (the Fastest Paw in the Westie!) by leaping out at him as he strolled past with his rather superior owner. Angus almost died from fright, the owner merely sniffed in distaste at the youngling's behaviour.

Got the mutt home, eventually, after an extraordinary amount of peeing along the way (him, not me) and tackled him with gardening gloves, fairy dishwashing liquid and some hand towel. He was considerably cleaner by the time I left for work. I worried for our couches.

Got home this evening and found him as white and pure as undriven snow.

The little shit.

He just did it on purpose.

St Sparrow

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Sunday Service



Young Christian O'Connell has a new show on Sky One - including his Virgin Breakfast show.

We stupidly thought it would be a good idea to go and watch it being filmed. It was grand fun, initially. Christian was hilarious, Chris was fab...Brian was well, Brian (snigger) and we all met Ross Noble, comedian and Angel Delight addict. But then, three and a half hours to film one show - I felt so sorry for us, for Christian, the team, the crew...we worked hard to laugh, clap, laugh and applaud some more, looking enthusiastic.

It is such hard work being pleasant. We staggered out, eventually allowed to leave. I clutched my bribe to Christian, having been convinced that it was so perfect I would have the bloody scooter they had up for grabs but as it was a pre-arranged thing...grumble grumble - a sparkly silver glitter mug emblazoned with the face of the Hoff. A true one off piece of art - I managed actually meet Christian, showed him the mug and he was stunned and amazed at it sheer majestic beauty...pointing out that he was stunned it had not been chosen to be put forward as one of the items to choose from for the big prize of the game. Oh well. Such is life. I trust the young woman who did win the scooter does not live in Kent, or in London, because as sure as the sky is blue and the sun is shiny, if I spot her scooting around, I will make a point of shoving her over. Grins happily.

But, do watch the show on Sunday evening, at 10pm and see all our hard work. Good fun...tiring...but good fun.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Beset by Insane People


Honest to goodness, I am a magnet to people who are weird, odd, a bit Touched and those who smell a bit too much due to forgetting they had a bathroom because the aliens have stolen their brain.

Case in point, this morning:

Lizzy happily walking along Lower Regent Street, minding her own business when tiny small woman edges into her path. Lizzy steps past woman, lengthening her stride, to get past her as she is conscious of the fact that she should get to the office ASAP. Lizzy's bag jostles little woman's several bags as she is sipping her double late moccachino skinny espresso. Lizzy apologises, does not think anything more about it, and walks on. Little woman, clearly in the mood to pick a fight, storms up, jostles Lizzy and bag and starts shouting "next time you fucking touch me..." and I stop and stare at her. Jaw dropped, smacked in the gob by this display of bunny boiler psycosis. I blink, stupidly, nod my head and listen to her rant and say smartly "shut up you stupid psycho bitch" or something in those lines and literally run across the street in case whatever she has is catching. To my regret as I would have loved to have found out the rest of her tirade...I only heard a few bits of it as I was listening to Linkin Park on my stereo headphones and could see her mouth opening and closing like those of a fish...called Bob.

It was bizarre. It left me seriously frazzled though as the sheer look of distate and - dare I say it - hatred that shimmered in her eyes really left me quaking. I kid you not. You expect odd behaviour like that from unwell people...I choose to think that she didn't take her Calmets this morning...or forgot her Bach Flower remedy and her fragile state was pounded on by a nasty train journey, or whatever. I really feel sorry for whoever she works with, whoever she is married to. All I can say is, in the words of the inimitable Little Britain chap - eeeeeh eeeeh.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Captain Jack is back!

And he is still - as if it was ever a problem - just utterly scrummy. If you are into that type of thing - ahem.

POTC2 is rollickingly good fun. They get their legends totally messed up, Davy Jones and The Fying Dutchman...but hey, I reckon that it was for a good cause.

The action is fast and furious. Kiera gets to snog Johnny - the bitch, ahem - and Orlando - who cares? - and the chap starring as Captain Norrington (Jack Norrington) turns out to do dark and brooding and dirty, really well. Orlando gets to preen and still be the prettiest elf, Kiera swings her swords with meaning and Johnny, well he is rock n' roll.


What is hugely clear is how much serious fun the actors had making this movie. It isn't as good as the first one, by no means, but the characters have been established so it is full steam ahead with cutlasses, kraken, pirates (argggh!) and one plot development after the other.

We get to meet Will Turner's father, who is "working" on the Flying Dutchman as a crustacious crew member of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy who is fantastic! but not as good as Jeffrey Rush as Barbosa) who is the captain of the FD. And strangely enough, Cpt Jack had struck a deal with Davy Jones 13 years ago to be Captain of the Black Pearl. His time is up and he needs to fulfull his promise to Davy Jones - to serve him, offer up his soul. Unless he can get someone else to take his place, as a downpayment...guess who gets tricked into going onboard the Flying Dutchman?

And naturally, Davy Jones - bless his watery heart - has a secret. His locker/chest hidden on land actually contains .... oops, no, no spoiler, I promise... but well, needless to say Jack and Elizabeth and young Will are after this treasure...

Good fun. A bit predictable...but the ending is a serious cliffhanger...basically guaranteeing that everyone will be dying to find out what happens in 3!

Now, bring me that horizon.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Is it a man, is it a bird...is it a plane?



Nope, it is Superman and you know...eventhough I don't really like Superman, even FG agrees, that this boy is exceedingly easy on the eyes.

And also, I really posted this as I know WW would get a kick out of watching...go on, press the play button, you know you want to!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

My first time..


Three weeks ago I took my fragile ego in my hands, scraped my courage together, sent up a prayer to the Muses and sent off a short story for consideration to TTA Press. I waited, bated breath, worrying, until finally, on Friday morning, I peered down the passage and spied the envelope ...

I ran there, like a maniac, almost killing myself as the door was in the way and my momentum was just too much. So I slammed into the door, startling the sleeping dog into fits of anger and loud barking. Nursing a knocked knee I grabbed the gnawed upon post, courtesy of the dog, and limped to the diningroom. I ignored the large envelope and first checked the bill from Orange. Pheg. They are sending £54 back into my account. I thought "hey, it can only get better."

I steadied my nerves by making some tea. I had a light rich tea biscuit first then tore open the envelope. Out came the story, all eight pages of it, a registration form to subscribe to their various books and lo! my first ever rejection slip.

I read through it. It was standard fare, or so I have read - thank you for submitting your work but after careful consideration we will not be proceeding to publish your story...

So I sat back and giggled madly to myself. Giddily I rang FG at work. Told him about the fact that we are getting money back from Orange and hey presto! I have my first rejection slip. We both started giggling. It was SO cool. I know, in theory, I should be hugely disappointed and stuff but the sheer fact that SOMEONE ELSE besides wordweaver, FG and Viv had read the story, had taken the time to seriously consider it for publishing was such an unbelievable rush. It was amazing. It was druglike. I felt ontop of the world. Who cares that they aren't publishing it. They READ it! It is a fab feeling.

Ye gods, can you imagine my reaction if they actually decided to publish it?

Subsequently, I have come to realise that the story might belong somewhere else. A magazine I had bought at Forbidden Planet has EXACTLY the kind of stories in it that mine is about...I know, for an aspiring author I just messed that sentence up so badly...but hey! I have read all nine stories in the magazine and will visit their website and see what their submission guidelines are.

Hey presto - happy shiny girl!





Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Mummy is the word...

FG came home today with an interesting tidbit for me.

A 1600 year old mummy has been discovered in Peru a little while ago. Archeologists and other types are puzzling over the find. The burial itself was unusual as the Moche people used to leave their dead for the vultures and animals to devour - the circle of life thing - and they hardly ever buried their dead. They found the mummy on a mountain known as La Bruja - The Wizard - and they discovered that not only was it buried so deep underground, beneath ground cover, stone, logs, vegetation and several other layers of "deterrent" materials to keep people out. Or it in...

Once they located the body of the mummy they found that it had been wrapped in approximately 27 layers of fabric. As they unwound these bandages they found weapons beneath them, tucked against its body. They assumed a warrior king. They were wrong. They unwrapped the mummy some more and found beaten sheets of copper and gold, keeping the body in shape and once removed they discovered vibrant beads and a weaving tool of some sort. Which puzzled the scientists even more. They uncovered and unwrapped more. And found a young female covered in tatoos buried with all the honours and more of a king and warrior.

The mystery is now to find out who she is and where she fits in, in the Moche world. She is an enigma, an unknown quantity.

Scholars now have to re-evaluate everything they knew about this race of long-dead people.

The discovery of this young woman, xrays revealed she was no older than her mid-twenties and that she had borne at least one child, has really tickled my imagination. Who was she? Why was she buried? There are anomolies in the items found in her grave. Statues and paintings on the walls never seen before. She is a mystery. Her existence is a puzzle.

Suddenly the creative juices are flowing and I am thinking...what if she was buried on this very sacred and special mountain La Bruja as she was seen as the reincarnation of a goddess? Goddesses all over the world have dual personalities. Artemis and Diana acting as virginal beauties, protectors of the weak and woodland animals...yet at the same time some of their attributes are protection in childbirth and protection to brave men in battle.

I googled the find and found that one chap strongly believes that she is a Buddist monk who travelled from the East. Strange thing is, the items found with her bear strong resemblance to protector demons from Buddist temples.

I doubt we will genuinely know her origins or what she was doing in such a remote place, buried with ancient weapons and such funery finery. I feel sorry that they took her from her burial place. I understand that research needs to be done, I am just wondering if they will ever put her back, like the natives of the Altai Mountains are requesting to be done to their Ice Maiden.

She had been removed a few years back - found with the skeletons of horses, weapons, a vast amount of treasure and jewellery and last, but not all, weapons of war - from her resting place in this mystical landscape in Siberia. Since her removal there has been drought, earth quakes and other natural disasters. The locals are clamouring to have her back, believing that the Spirits demand to be appeased, they want their own returned to them.

Anyone who hears the story and does not feel a shiver of awe, does not feel their heart beat a bit faster and their pulse quicken with the sheer imaginative possibilities of these stories, is a stone.

The story of the Moche mummy is one of the articles in this month's National Geographic.

This is a teaser snippet from the NG mag. Happy reading!

The Moche didn't embalm their dead. Most corpses decayed normally, leaving bare bones as the only proof of lives extinguished. In a very few instances, though, nature and human reverence worked together to preserve the deceased as a mummy. This was the fate of the tattooed woman whose elaborately wrapped remains were discovered last year at a ceremonial site called El Brujo—the Wizard—on the north coast of Peru. Rising to power a thousand years before the Inca, her people created a sophisticated culture now known for its fine ceramics and masterful metalwork.

A recent autopsy revealed that the tattooed woman had borne at least one child and died in her late 20s, but no trace of what killed her was evident. Her untimely demise must have shocked her people, who laid her to rest in full regalia at the peak of a temple where bloody sacrifices were performed (National Geographic, July 2004). Her body was daubed with cinnabar—a red mineral associated with the life force of blood—wrapped in layers of cotton cloth, and entombed in thick courses of adobe. Then the dry climate of the Moche's desert realm desiccated her body. No other Moche woman like her has ever been found.

"Based on our preliminary study, we think she was a ruler," says archaeologist Régulo Franco, whose work is supported by Peru's National Institute of Culture and the Augusto N. Wiese Foundation. If so, she may revolutionize ideas about the Moche, whose leaders were believed—until now—to be men.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

That old chestnut




We are all obsessed with it.

If its cold, we want sun, it if it rains we want it to fall straight down with no wind, if it is sunny, it's too hot.

I can shake my head in amazement.

But what amazes me even more: employees over in the Met office and other weather offices around the country. WHY oh why would you blurt out about giant massive life threatening storms about to hit the capital? At a specific time like 4pm. When it would rain for an hour, heavily, flooding areas.

Do you know something we don't, i.e. plugged into Mother Nature's brain/God's brain (choose whichever you prefer and delete the other one) and if you do, they quite obviously lied to you, didn't they? I am still waiting for our massive storms, of thunder and lightning, of destructive hail stones. And funnily, I could get home this evening as no storms occurred to interrupt the journey.

Ah yes, done it now, haven't I? Tempted fate and no doubt a storm that would make the special effects in The Day After Tomorrow look like the effects used in SupermanII, will hit, destroying the planet.

The concert, the music...


tralaaa laaaa!

This Saturday is the long awaited Foo Fighters concert in Hyde Park!

Does a crazy mad jig. Whoo hoo.

Can we wait? Well, that doesn't matter, we have to. But it is going to be soooooo cool - Motorhead and Queens of the Stone Age opening. Yeeehah = a lot of noise. I am doubting my own hearing for the Sunday afterwards. Or my ability to speak.

Rock on!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I can see your lips move...

As an English speaking person, who no doubt speaks English better than native born English speakers, using correct grammar, very little slang and with little enough accent, it genuinely astounds me that people (read work colleagues) take me for a retard.

I might not have gone on to university when I left school– I would have dearly loved to, but a) it was too expensive and b) the bursaries I applied for had me shortlisted and when push came to shove, they chose one of the previously disadvantaged applicants as that was the way the cookie crumbled back then (and still does). I did however do four years of my BA long distance but did not have the lump sum it took to write the final exam (it was more than my salary for three months AND I was living on my own due to my unforeseen circumstances relating to the passing on of my mom).

I have completed and am the proud owner of my internationally acclaimed Diploma in Property Finance, which I completed in English eventhough it is not my first language. I even did my BA studies in English. I have probably read more books than all my team together on more diverse subjects, not blinding myself or is that fooling myself, into believing that if I only read biographies of important people, I will look intelligent and people will think I am sooper douper. I pick up new software programmes really fast and tend to think outside a box when there is problems, finding a solution to them. So why oh why….am I …

sitting here, in this specific Hell Dimension today and wondering to myself why I am being spoken to in a loud slow voice generally reserved for Specials and People Who Are Travelling in a Foreign Country Who Know that the Locals Do Not Understand English, by a greying smelly man with the worst halitosis imaginable. If I look up, as he hovers over my shoulder to make sure I understood his inane instructions (and its not like I haven’t done this a million times before, and its not like he actually knows what I am doing on software he has never used before as he is a technophobe) I look straight into the bristles growing out of his bulbous nose and I think to myself “Holy phuck, Batman, get those trimmed or burnt out and back off before I hit you in the delicates with my elbow because you are standing WAY TOO CLOSE.”

Shudder.

I am not – as my one sweet colleague pointed out after I scowled at said boss in a nasty face deforming way – feeling the love today.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Almost Citizens!


Ah.

Tomorrow this time - 15:53 we would have had tea with the mayor, sworn our allegience to Her Majesty the Queen - all in order to become British Citizens.

Why, oh why? I hear you cry!

Well, so that we could travel and go places without having to worry about bloody visas all the time. It is exciting. This is what we have been waiting for six years. Soon, like Cheesy, FG and I will be able to visit far flung places, take pictures and experience new cultures and such. And because we won't be spending hard earned cash on visas it can be used for tatt and food and tours. Whoo hoo.

We can't wait!

Oh right. Only one sleep more. Snh snh snh.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Attention to detail...

I read somewhere during/before the releases of the Lord of the Rings trilogy that Peter Jackson was utterly obsessed with attention to detail. To the extent where, when Gandulf went off to do his research at Minas Tirith and he sat in the library there, going through all those scrolls and maps, practically all of those untouched scrolls and parchments in the background had text on it - eventhough it was not to be used in the scene.

I am finding myself doing that at the moment. Being obsessed with making sure I have the correct formulae for my young exorcist/paranormal investigator to use when confronted with a ghost, the right language, turn of phrase, locations. It is hard work. I know, in the end that it would help, once I sit down and write the blasted novel to have all this information at my fingertips but...I am scared.

I am scared of using too much of it - if I do, I will be a bit of an anorak, showing off all my learned knowledge (a la Dan Brown), if I don't, it might seem that I am doing my "magic" on the wing. Conundrum. Where do you draw the line, where do you see the balance. I know wordweaver will pipe up and say "shutup with the whining already and just write it, fix it up later.." and I know where she is coming from but! being the procrastinator that I am, I am wasting my time googling every phrase I find interesting, doing research on Milton quotes, checking out Dante...Catholic saints...and it is vastly interesting. I am thinking of selling my services to the Beeb even!

Grin, but this Sunday, I think will be the big day when I will start at page 20 in the existing novel and rewriting and start showing - not telling - my research and dropping my poor young character into a whole load of trouble.

SNH SNH SNH

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Summer tales...

Picture - naturally - courtesy of Brian Froud

The end of the month of May and nary a day of full sunshine. Now, in general I do prefer the cooler clime of this olde Albion BUT enough is enough.

I took Sparrow for a run in the park this morning before going to work and I bravely stepped forth without my jacket, thinking that it should not be necessary to wear one. I was wrong. I almost froze my patoolies off. The poor pup got run around the park at landspeed record timing and I was back inside, shrugging into my leather jacket within fifteen minutes.

The sun, please, may we have some sunshine? A week, two weeks even, would do. Just let it be warmer than 15 degrees C. We want to, we NEED to have a bbq. We longingly touched the barbeque packs in Sainsburys this evening, dreaming that misty dream of long remembered times when friends came to visit till late at night, sitting around the fire outside, listening to music, sated and stuffed on the gorgeous grilled meats FG had bbq'd. Och. Those were the days.

To encourage summer, a summery interlude of the literary kind:

And pomp, and feast, and revelry,

With mask, and antique pageantry,

Such sights as youthful poets dream

On summer eves by haunted stream

(Milton - L'Allegro (1631) )

Night of the south winds - night of the large fewstars!

Still nodding night - mad naked summer night.

(Walt Whitman - "Song of Myself," Leaves of Grass (1855) )

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Oh, how I laughed...


Reading Cheezy's blog about him retiring trusty old Rusty, his ancient Nokia, had me giggle. We too retired our respective but still quite posh and flash Nokias this past week, having upgraded to a new provider (Orange sucks ass) we got new phones. Small little flicky up things. Here is a picture of mine. I chose the pink as it so me (she laughs, with her sore chest and sore throat, sounding like Vin Diesel OD'ing on Jack Daniels and Texan plains)


Then, I thought I would go visit the Nokia website and go see further info on the little tiddler and almost died of a heart attack. This little phone, by no means the cutest or best one out there, is retailing for £229!!! Holy hell. That is a lot of money for sumat. Sumat which I am bound to scratch the hell out of and no doubt lose.

Okay, so, maybe I see if they have a secure goodie thing for me to store it in. Checks out the accessories section and honestly, this is what came up:

Yes, like those twatts out there who buy the "socks" for their iPods, Nokia has seen it fit to design this little cute "cover/baggie" for the phone, it even comes with beaded accessories to dangle off the phone. For £5.99. Fabulous. You can use your cover/baggie to clean both the camera lens AND the screen.

Shakes head. I don't understand this buying of "clothing" and accessories for items...my bag does not feel lonely without any adornments. In fact, it is just less junk for me to lose. My monstrous MP3 player is quite happy to get 'tude by being scuffed and thrown around said bag, I refuse to buy it a little nappy/condom to keep it safe.

But yes, there you go. If I were that way inclined, I could buy a little pink condom for my phone. Yippee! Fingler clicking, just like Tara and Paris. Tee-hee.

TDVC - The Movie

Braving the torrential thunderous rain and hailstones, we drifted down to the local cinema to go view TDVC. At half ten in the morning on a Saturday.

The highlight was the trailer for Pirates of the Carib - hmmmm, Johnny Depp - sorry, that wasn't the movie, was it?

If you have not read the badly written book, the hyped book, the fictional book, you will still enjoy the movie. You might not "get" it all, but they have dummed it down tremendously for public fare. And it is a loooooong movie - 149 minutes. Most of which you don't really feel. Personally, I think this should have been directed by an English director, or a foreign director, not Ron Howard. It never made me gasp, wonder, or amaze. Or worry. There was no edge to it and it was all very "fluffy." It did however make me jiggle around my seat though as I recognised the places they were shooting the movie in. The sets were lavish - Lee Teabing's villa and study is sumptious. See pic below:


Old man Sir Ian was a tour de force, as usual. He genuinely sparkled and was a much more interesting character than Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) who seemed to stand to the side a lot and watch worriedly and bemusedly as things went rocketing off the rails, dragging him along. Sophie Neveu was beautifully played by Audrey T. And of course, Silas, the albino monk played by Paul Bettany was out of this world - his portrayal as this pawn of bishops and rich men, was outstanding. I genuinely don't think the Opus Dei has anything to worry about in this movie. They make it very clear that there are radical factions within the OD who tend to take things over the top, whereas most of their members are married, with families etc. A cleverly set-up scene on an airplane with the bishop and his aide acting the part of a journalist...cleverly done.


There were a few clever scenes - instead of Robert Langdon going off to a library to find a clue, they accost a young chap on one of the busses and use his mobile phone to access the internet and do a search. As a saddo, I recognised an in-joke in this scene. The authors Lynn Picknet and her co-author Timothy Freke were on the bus, behind Tom and Audrey. They were the ones who did a lot of research way back in the day into the Magdalene story, Da Vinci and the Jesus Mysteries. Dan Brown refers to Lynn's books in TDVC and cites it as one of the books in his bibliography. Yes, I know. I am sad. In Lee Teabing's house, as he explains to Audrey about the sacred feminine, he is holding one of Lynn's books in his hand. This made me giggle and I sniggered to hubby: "We have those books."

Ahem. There are a lot fo shortcuts in the movie - there has to be. Like in LOTR you just could not put it all in. I think though that they managed to stay true to the book - you get the gist of it. All, except for the ending....where they discover a hidden room underneath Roslyn Chapel (what about all the excavations which the St Clair family have allowed in the church a couple of years ago...the excavations where they had found nothing...do the Americans think NO ONE has ever paid any attention to Roslyn before Dan Brown came along?) and Sophie manages to locate a whole bunch and scrolls and pipes up "Oh look, scrolls from the Library at Alexandria". At that point I burst out laughing. Even if they were scrolls from the great library, they would be in temperature controlled cabinets, behind lock and key and not jumbled together on an open shelf for insects, dust, bacteria and marauders to eat or destroy. Americans! Throw reality to the wind to make it look like the library at Minas Tirith, just because it looks authentic like that and it makes you want to go dig around ancient temples and churches.

I'll pack cynical-Liz away now and say that for all the obvious ploys used in the movie, it worked. Like the book it will bring in millions to the publishers, the author and the movie makers. I just pity old Dan Brown now that he has sold the rights to his character - it is going to be very difficult to set him up to do controversial things now. The movie world owns him now!