Oh, hurrow!

I realised that things have been so hectic that there has been zero time for blogging. How sad? No more stories from the Hell Dimension, no interesting tales about fellow commuters as weird as the Trolls...or anything!

So, knowing that the world is out there, on the edge of a knife, just waiting for yet another amusing tale from my colourful life allow me to relate the tale of the FireDrill.

Yes, as sad as it is....I am a fire warden (one of maybe 6 on our floor; it is a large floor!) and on Monday we had to undergo a refresher course. And we had to give our teams names. Two teams; two names. What do you think we came up with? I was in Team B. Team A decided on the name "Firewall" - we did better than that. We were the "Bright Sparks". So, getting that under the belt and between wondering when the tea and cookies would be served and when would we be meeting any fit firemen (Mr. FG can stop giggling now, he is fascinated by Charlize, so I can be fascinated by firemen!) to watch them manhandle fire equipment, naturally, the refresher course continued. And, oh my god, it was so boring. What didn't help is that my team consisted of myself, ASAG (Another South African Girl) and a woman I think of as the Bag Lady, for the sake of this narrative.

ASAG, whilst being a sweet girl, was quite easy to annoy and she swiftly got irritated by Bag Lady being forward and answering all the questions. ASAG bided her time and eventually saw her chance and had to comment on how scary she found the sign for that little fire-alarm box that said "break glass" - she was worried about the glass cutting her finger. Yes. This was the intellectual heights of my team. I considered drowning myself in my cup of tea or choking to death on a digestive. But what stopped me is that I knew Bag Lady was also a first aider and if she had to come near me I would punch her lights out.

The refresher course only brought home the fact that - if there is fire, make a noise, get everyone out - I really shouldn't attend things like this. The sheer mindnumbing experience has stunted me personally. I had to alleviate this by watching Team America. Yet again. Only the best movie ever made.

******

Song quote from the movie, Team America:

I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that shitty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you.